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Rental Friends- never be alone again!

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HAVE NO REAL FRIENDS?? RENTUM!!

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Hi!
"I use RENT A FRIEND for all my functions!
As a matter of fact, i cant keep um away!"
j.Smidlack Oakville KY

NOW you dont have to be alone!

Ok heres a scenerio, You move into this great home in the country.. Big yard, pool, BBQ etc. and you want to make a BIG impression on the neighbors. Unfortunately your only REAL friends are on Rykers Island, and unavailable to attend your Bash ( at least for another 5-7 ). What to do??
Ok first you call relatives,(usually some will make a showing- and possibly bring macaroni salad).
Than what?? thats it??
WRONG!!!
Introducing Renta-friend!
Rent from 2-25 friends for your next GALA event!
You pick the attire and the attitudes! Your NEW friends will do the rest!

We feature happily marrieds, happily marrieds with children,
happily divorcing, and happily single "friends" for your selection.

Add vim and viga - we reccomend our Irish HMw/c ..
complete with a brewski enjoyin leprecaun, happy go lucky "Eddie Munster" look alike son, and a Blonde wife that keeps it all together!

For a singles attitude feel please try our all new "head shaved" Italian Stallion!!
(no relation to Telli Savalis)
Assured to "raise the brows" from the most passive of people!
Warning - PLEASE contain your wifes and daughters.

A slight surcharge is added for protection..

OR RENT THE WHOLE FREAKIN TROUPE!

4 hour minimum
tipping suggested...
food and beverage must be provided.

Payment in cash, in advance.
(Send an email to the editor.)

end o summer SPECIAL -expires 9/5/01
Book the variety pack, 6 assorted happys, and get 1 genuine town bum thrown in free.(due to smells beyond belief- transportation to and fro for said bum must be provided by host.)

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"The RENT A FRIEND program is goin GLOBAL!"
quotes NEIL "burt" ARMSTRONG

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Dont get caught waiting for the BELL to go BUZZ!
CALL RENT A FRIEND TODAY!!

THE renta friend POLICY

*** All rental friends will KNOW your first name.
*** " " " " ACT like they LIKE you.
*** " " " promise to behave in a partying manner.
and more!

BOOK YOUR FRIENDS NOW!!

PLAN AHEAD!

ARE YOU
SICK?

OLD?

WORN OUT?

READY TO EXPIRE?

FILL THE FUNERAL HALL WITH FRIENDS!!! make arrangements NOW- while your still able!

DONT leave it up to your spouse. You know they will screw it up.

If you want to go out lookin like you were popular DIAL THAT NUMBER NOW- advance bookings advised.


AN ALL EVENTS COMPANY

rentaSurfPhil a division of BoneyMaroney.com.jpg

Renta "Surf-Phil" for your next party!
He promises to hang 10 on you!- personally!!
(Im NOT talkin AOL 10 either!)
Please note:
Not available in 49 states.

Attract Women Now